‘Cause no Sabra man would be caught dead in this – unless he was on active duty in the IDF and part of special commando mission in Lebanon.
There should be a dating rule or hazard warning for any female dating a man who would wear these clothes.
The Toronto Star has a pointless little bit of nothing on ‘pick-up’ lines. I know something about pick-up lines having experienced them in the field as both a giver and a receiver. Yes, women do use pick-up lines – well, at the least all the women do who actually want to meet any given man who catches their eye. The women who don’t use pick-up lines are usually the ones out with their girlfriends on Saturday night whining about never being able to meet single men. I never really had much sympathy for those women simply because the world is literally filled with men who are relatively easy to meet. The trick is, finding a ‘keeper’, but you don’t get to shift the wheat from the chaff unless you go out into the field and gather the wheat yourself.
Growing up almost entirely surrounded by male cousins I discovered a few things along the way about how males think which has turned out rather handy. Firstly, most men aren’t terrible good on spur of the moment dialogue with a complete female stranger without a great deal of prompting. If a man is terribly good at it – it’s only worth proceeding with extreme caution. Men who are a little too comfortable with woman are usually men who spend a great deal of time in the company of other women. Generally, those men break down into two categories; gay and what we called in the old days womanizers. I think correct term today is ‘player’.
The first thing a man does when seeing an attractive woman is rack his brain trying to decide if he has a ‘chance’ with the woman and whether it’s worth his effort. If he decides in the affirmative, then he starts to play out all kinds of pointless scenarios – mapping out a kind of mental strategy. In other words, he’ll be too busy thinking of his ‘best’ approach so the opportunity is usually lost by the time he finishes mapping out his approach and gathers his courage.
As hard as it is to believe; it is true that most men are not the brave fearless sort when faced with an unknown attractive woman. I have even met combat soldiers who are utterly fearless in battle and decorated to prove it but who become hopeless tongue-tied when faced with an unknown attractive woman. This is also why often you won’t meet any men in a bar until last call. It takes them that long to get their act together. Of course, some men are just that cheap and figure they will wait until the end of the night so they don’t have to buy you a drink. Forget them too. Of course, approaching a strange woman can be fraught with all kinds of hidden dangers.
Through the years, I have heard the most dreadful lines running from ‘are you ready to get your world rocked’ to ‘are you ready to have nightmares about me!’. Any pick up line which uses ‘are you ready’; should be a non-starter. Same goes with the ‘Baby you look like big bucks’ to which the only reply you need to express is the affirmative and point out he merely looks like small change. It is at this point you need to get up and move far, far, far away. Forget the oddball twists on old cheesy lines like – are you ready to have nightmares about me (yes, a man actually said that to me once), of course the ‘are you ready’ makes the line a double fail. Any approach needs to be non-threatening and sincere but not too serious; if only so you can keep yourself respect in tact.
There really one two good ones. The second one is a strategy and really only works for men. It’s a variation on an appeal to authority but with a twist and it only works in a crowded scenario when you see a woman out with her friends. Instead of taking the direct approach edge your way towards one of her girlfriends and ask for her help. Then tell her what a great guy you are but in a self-depreciating way explain how you get hopelessly tied up in knots when you try to talk to a woman for the first time. Tell her you are tired of getting shot down before you open your mouth because you can’t come up with any witty one-liners and ask her to introduce you to her friend so you will have a few extra minutes to attempt to make a positive impression before she blows you off.
There are three potential outcomes. The girlfriend will tell you to get f-off which means she’s a heartless bitch and your better off not getting a girlfriend who has a collection of mean friends. Trust me on this. Or she may decide she wants to get to know you for herself which makes it a win-win. Finally, if the ‘target’ still blows you off there is always a good chance the girlfriend has an attack of pity and wants to give you a chance herself.
Don’t get uptight on carrying the pity vote as it shows she has a good heart. A woman with a good heart beats mean heartless viper on any given day. And under no circumstances (should you be shot-down) should you approach the target’s friend directly and ask if she wants to be next. No one wants to be considered leftovers. Although, you could go to the girlfriend and thank her for her help and see what happens.
The first strategy, well, it starts with ‘Hello’, I am________. Simple really and it works for either sex; except, it isn’t really all that simple. It has to be friendly and non-threatening but presented in a sincere way from a man without too much seriousness… and from a woman – you have to possess a certain amount of confidence to pull it off to reap its’ full power. Usually, I employ the ‘Hello’ or the ‘Wellllll, Hello’ with double whammy of both body language and tone of voice. It helps if the man catches your eye and he sees you give him a very slow once over with your eyes from his bottom to his top. Keep your head slightly down and raise your eyes to look directly into his and then say ‘Hello’. Drop your tone on the ‘lo’.
I first discovered the ‘Hello’ technique by studying how the actresses of Hollywood in its golden age did it in the movies. It sounds cheesy but when you could not show a physical seduction in the flesh on the silver screen there had to be a way for an actress to project it in a believable way so the audience could fill in the details. Start by taking a hard look at how actress like Marlena Dietrich, Lana Turner, Rita Hayworth, Jean Arthur, Ingrid Bergman, Marilyn Monroe carry themselves and the tone of voice they used. Take their ‘tips’ and apply what is comfortable and natural of their technique to yourself. Don’t try to be a Marilyn if you’re the girl next door type – you’ll look like a fracking idiot. I’ve argued and taken bets with everyone over the use of the simple ‘hello’ and won every time.
Courtesy of China Hush – who poses the question -
A fashion phenomenon spreading through East Asia is matching outfits for couples. Personally, I find nothing wrong with such outfits – I think they are endearing, creative, and open up opportunities for collaboration. However, the usual response I’ve noticed from people from Western countries is that it is childish, immature, and the ever descriptive “gay” I say: Why not have fun with our significant other? Why don’t we aesthetically display our affection?
Personally, I wouldn’t use ‘gay’ as a negative adjective to describe the matching outfits for couples as most of the gay couples I know have rather conservative classic taste in clothing, but hey, maybe its my circle of acquaintances. I suspect the western ‘distaste’ for matching outfits is probably a culture holdover from the bibical injunction of not wearing the clothes of the other ’sex’.
My buddy Beachnut waded into the comments when I posted on a picture of a his/her costume taken in Israel during Purim:
And I think it’s tacky to wear similar shoes like his date.
He should have his own style.
Not to be outdone, Backseat Blogger had this to say:
oh man, ain’t that the truth beachnut!
it is sooooooooooooo creepy when you see these couples dressed IDENTICALLY coming down the street. There’s just something a little bit ‘off’ about them
Normally, I wear dresses and/or skirt-suits so if I was looking for husband number #4 and a prospect showed up at my door wearing the same dress as me; it would probably put me off enough him and make it onto my list of dating rule don’ts. Although, I might make an exception; if he was wearing a kilt. Kilts can look fine on a man…and now they can even be kosher.
I have found a late-in-life aspiration in the life of Yitta Schwartz, a holocaust survivor, and old-style Jewish matriarch who passed away a few weeks ago at 94 years of age. The matriarch Yitta left behind approximately 2,500 direct descendents. She lived so well that she lived to see her grandchildren have grandchildren. Woe to me, that I only discovered motherhood so late in late in life. Although, if you ask the tribe – it all moans, groans and woe to them as now that the pressure is on them to marry and produce.
Although, this may just have to be another dream I am forced to put aside when the cold cruel world of reality intrudes – given that I really am starting to despair of my Kiki Tzipporah finding a Moshe whose only ability to lead is choosing between moisturizers or hair care products. Think I am joking – Facials for men – the next frontier.
An hour under the care of skilled technician Seta Kerim resulted not only in a less gritty mug but also the unexpected benefit of coma-like relaxation.
Kerim, a nutritionist and esthetician who trained in France, has 30 years’ experience in the skin business. She performs her subtle magic out of a Yonge St. office (416-960-2456) where long shelves display large bottles of exotic powders such as horsetail grass, marshmallow root and witch hazel.From these raw ingredients, she concocts her own facial cream blends. These can be complex recipes customized to sop up oiliness or cater to sensitivities with more targeted intentions than commercial out-of-the-tube creams.
My own mask potion called for a dash of turmeric and a teaspoon of licorice root added to a base exfoliant cream. Apparently, no eye of newt was required. A massage concoction she fashioned out of geranium, rosemary and castor oil produced the involuntary state of blissful intoxication.
But how, you ask, to recapture such skin care enchantment at home?
And this from a ‘man’. Egads, my poor daughter. Now I have to add another dating rule.
50 Cent to launch his own skin care line
The Candy Shop singer – who already has a G Unit clothing range – has reportedly put his music career on hold to focus on the new products, designed for men who like to be “pampered”. The line will include a moisturiser and night creams.
My last husband didn’t have pierced ears or even wear any jewelry except his wedding band. In fact, I can’t imagine any of my deceased husbands in bras, stay-ups or wearing moisturiser. I admit I am conservative – I still haven’t adjusted to tattoos being manifestations of modern pop culture and find the sight of them rather jarring. I expect it’s the whole ‘mark of the dead thing’, which is, psychologically speaking, rather off-putting for me.
I’m trying to see the upside in this ‘new man’ thingy for my daughter’s sake – but its hard. Bras, nylons, garters, now make-up – at the rate things are going I am going to be a whole lot more ‘manly’ than any potential sons-in-law.
Early Saturday morning water burst from my kitchen and living room ceilings. Apparently, my upstairs neighbor got a portable washing machine and was still working out the kinks on how to use it – such as turning off the machine when the kitchen sink overflows. This is the second time my flat has been flooded in a week.
Subsequently, I have been without all kinds of modern conveniences waiting for the wiring to dry out in the walls but imagine my surprise when I realized just how far out of touch I have been…first it was a Japanese company producing a line of bras for men. Now, I discover there is an American company producing nylons, stay ups and garter belts just for men. Comfilon:
Versatility in summertime! Our trademark Microfabric™ material is ideal for warmer weather. With 5 colors from which to choose, you can’t go wrong! Order them in a skin-matching color for an invisible cool barefoot or bare leg look or in a contrasting color for a sheer socks look. This silky style of male stockings provides a medium level of compression, effectively massaging and energizing your legs all day. The fabric of these men’s thigh highs is soft and luxurious, providing superb comfort and great durability.
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Will there ever be another generation of young women who will not cringe when someone asks – what does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?
I suppose that is just another rule to add to my dating rules series – thou shall not date men a) who have longer hair than you, b) who wear the same bra-size, or c) who wear the same sized stay-ups.
When I was younger I really didn’t have any hard and fast rules for dating men in which I articulated much beyond ‘never date a Cohen’ (to keep my grandfather happy) and I wouldn’t date men whose hair was longer then mine. Last weekend my daughter came home from university seeking dating wisdom, and thanks to Japanese innovation, I just discovered a new rule to add to her list. Reuters:
TOKYO (Reuters) – Who said bras are only for women? A Japanese online lingerie retailer is selling bras for cross-dressing men and they’ve quickly become one of its most popular items.Since launching two weeks ago on Rakuten, a major Japanese web shopping mall, the Wishroom shop has sold over 300 men’s bras for 2,800 yen ($30) each. The shop also stocks men’s panties, as well as lingerie for women.
“I like this tight feeling. It feels good,” Wishroom representative Masayuki Tsuchiya told Reuters as he modeled the bra, which can be worn discreetly under men’s clothing. Wishroom Executive Director Akiko Okunomiya said she was surprised at the number of men who were looking for their inner woman.
“I think more and more men are becoming interested in bras. Since we launched the men’s bra, we’ve been getting feedback from customers saying ‘wow, we’d been waiting for this for such a long time’,” she said. But the bra, available in black, pink and white, is not an easy sell for all men.
New Rule: Never date a man whose bra size is bigger than yours.
x/p: Dust my Broom
A French hosiery company thinks men want their own line of panty-hose – I shit you not.
DIJON, France (AFP) – One of France’s leading hosiery makers is launching a new line for men next month — pantyhose with a welcome front opening and big feet, available in thick mannish knit but also as sheer tights.Gerbe, which is based in eastern France, said this week that the country’s first hosiery line for men would go on sale in March “due to increasing demand from male clients.”
The pantyhose comes with a larger belt than for women as well as an opening, with “Men opaque”, “sheer” or “satin” available in four models of tights, with and without feet, and three models of feel-good knee-high hosiery made to help drain toxins and massage tired limbs.
Where’s John Wayne when you need him? But seriously, I am told lumberjacks will actually wear women’s queen-size panty-hose under the thermal long johns for extra warmth while working in the woods during the winter but….I haven’t actually met a man who owned up to it. Lumberjack or not – well except for the Trannie I met in the public laundry mat a few weeks ago (my washer died after 15 years – damn the Japanese and their planned obsolesce).
The Yahoo article goes on suggesting a French fashion messaging board was responding to the announcement “with a touch of scepticism” but before you breathe a sigh of relief for French manhood the comments posted ranged from “Why create pantyhose for men when women’s tights are fine?” said one. Tights are unisex,” said another, “except that women’s are always softer.”
I shouldn’t really be too surprised as this was this was one of the military get-ups of French UNIFIL forces deployed last summer in Lebanon. (French soldiers from the United Nations Interim Force in Lebanon (UNIFIL).(AFP/Dominique Faget)
French manhood is now officially an oxymoron at The Last Amazon. And for the Last Amazon as well as her mother. I am not sure about the boys. As soon as they can get control of themselves and pick up their heaving selves off the floor – I’ll try asking again. I don’t know, maybe France should seriously consider attracting a huge influx of Lebanese men to coach French males on how to be men and French at the same time.
